Thursday, August 6, 2009

hodgepodge

That's the name of the jam I bought today at the farmers' market. Hodgepodge.
But its also a fitting name for the constant randomness of life.

We've been busy.
Getting dizzy with our vintage 1968 Battling Tops game.



Creating the Ninja Fighter Bike Gang.



You'd best watch out.

Losing teeth. That makes five so far. (I kid you not, i was seven before I lost a single one.)



Fishing.



But I've been busy, too. Me. Apart from We.

Having coffee with a friend who reminded me that a great many groups founded on perfectly wonderful philosophies can have members who turn those perfectly wonderful philosophies into psychotic unrealistic mindless babble. And I should be careful not to confuse the two.
I'm trying to find center, and deciding that center always moves. So play it where it is.
"Life is fluid".

I'm writing. I mean, writing besides this blog. I'm working on young adult fiction. And other stuff, too. Its all dark and messy, but I prefer a friend's term: edgy.

I'm baking. And visiting farmers' markets. And cussing out my own garden.

My brain is busy, too. I'm struggling with a certain six year old, whose attitude has blown through the roof, who tells me things like "Mom, if you would have bought me a better rod and reel, it wouldn't get all tangled up like this."
Did he seriously just say that?
Ungrateful. I don't care what attachment parenting, peaceful parenting, or radical unschooler term or reason or quick fix they want to apply to this, its still ungrateful. And it pisses me off. So I yelled. And then put the fishing pole in the barn. We were done for the day.

Hubster wants to help and tries to think of millions of grand things to do. And he has fantastic ideas. But I get frustrated. What I really want is to go ten minutes without kids feeling as though they need to be by us, with us, MamaTeaHubsterIggy Ooky. And then I get mad, thinking maybe that's the downfall of choosing this life. Constantly being THERE for the kids can sometimes be a double edged sword, no?

I'll take the double edged sword, however. Its better than the alternative. Everyone has a something to deal with.

Tomorrow we will be back to bike riding, creek wading, beach playing, tent sleeping, table building, and whatever else flops out of our brain and into the day. Maybe find a county fair or a demo derby. Who knows?

Every day is different. And you can't do anything but love that.

4 comments:

Stephanie said...

The little wretch. ;)
(just kidding, of course.)

That's as bad as "Uh... your new computer game that we just bought two days ago is lying on the floor, and I almost stepped on it. It could have broken. Put it in its case, please."
"Ah... no biggy. We could just buy a new one!"
I love things like that!!! Makes me feel so peaceful and loving.

topsytechie said...

Your boys are SO cute. (Trust me, they are!) I miss that age so much, so please feel free to send your Ninja Fighter Bike Gang over here for a couple days when they are ungrateful and full of "attitude." ;) But you have to promise to send the Battling Tops game WITH them...I want to play!!!

mamak said...

A certain girl I know pulled a stunt like yesterday. These huge pools ( kind with a filter) were on sale, and so I wanted to buy the kids one. She had her heart set on the 16 foot x 48 in. But we only had space for the 12 foot by 32 in one. If we got the larger we would have to get home owners involved, and we have only the well to fill it. I was being nice and explaining. You would not believe the attitude! She was like Violet from Willy wonka. I almost walked out of the store with nothing, but the boys were being so good. She did apologize later, but the this is not good enough thing eats me alive, and I seethe. Deep breath...

jessamyn said...

yes, yes, YES!