Saturday, August 15, 2009

something to be said

Home is great. Home is your own private world. You can let in what you want and stay hidden from the rest.

Homeschooling is much the same. My family's hard-to-define educational process exists in our private world. We can let in whatever goodies we want and forget about the fluff or crap of whatever else seems unnecessary or otherwise unrequired.

And that is lovely and quaint and delicious.

However.

There is something to be said about two children who are so ridiculously attached to each other that they have a hard time functioning apart. Yes, they can be social, but its almost always that ball of tangled up IggyandOoky finding friends together.

There is something to be said for Iggy having friends.

There is something to be said for Ooky having friends.

Separately.

There is something to be said about Iggy hanging out with lots of other kids and finding out that even though Ooky lets him be King of the Hill (and everything else), most other people will not cave as easily. Iggy can't always be the first, the best, the most, the fastest, or on top. Sometimes hearing that from non-family members is most effective.

Conversely, there is something to be said about Ooky hanging out with lots of other kids and finding out he can be first, the best, the most, the fastest, or on top. Around his brother, Ooky tends to cave...even if MamaTea and Hubster are right there encouraging him to be tough and stand up to Iggy's sometimes tyrannical behavior.

Don't get me wrong. They are fiercely protective of each other. And extremely close.

They are also brothers. Who pick at each other constantly.

Over the past few months, I'm starting to see how constant togetherness can really hinder one child's individuality and bring out a few less than stellar personality traits in the other.

Its not as if I want to see Iggy's heart smashed to pieces and flattened on the ground. But I also don't want him to learn that the doormat responses he gets from his brother are indicative of the way the whole world works. And I don't ever want Ooky to think he's less than simply because of an older brother who makes it hard for him to be more.

So I'm excited for co-op. For all those other kids we will be with. For the situations we will be put in. I'm looking forward to putting my neck out a wee bit more and finding ways for us to be a part of something that is (socially) bigger than ourselves.

Yes, staying home is great and safe and controllable. But there's something to be said for the parts of life that aren't.

3 comments:

Sadie said...

it's certainly something I have always said. We have a hard time about oldest being the fastest, best, first, etc....and the others all giving in to what he wants....so far our co-op hasn't come to the aid...but we are working on it :)

Green Mamma said...

Co-op sounds good; my sister and I, though we were not homeschooled, also struggled with having play dates with other kids . . . one of us would feel slighted or jealous . . . it's hard but I suppose it is part of growing too.

Ruralmama said...

I hear you. We have joined a smallish group up here and I'm getting excited to see them doing their own thing. Pickle is actually the more dominant personality, and she's youngest! It's good to see Boo making choices separate from her sister.

Good luck!